Have you ever wondered what the ‘ship’ in ‘relationship’ means? It refers to the fact that a relationship can either float or sink. Okay, that isn’t entirely true, but it’s a useful way to think about the effects of pressure in a relationship
Okay so here is my very honest blog about pressure, the pressure that seems to weigh my very sturdy relationship down, the pressure that grates on me, the pressure that to be quite honest I could do without! The pressure that makes me feel that my “ship” is sinking when it is very much afloat!!
So here’s the thing Luke and I have been in a very healthy and very happy relationship for almost 5 years (5 years in December 2018) We love each very much, and are hoping to move in together within the next year.
BUT to the outside world (society) that doesn’t appear to good enough, and we CONSTANTLY get asked questions like “When are you two getting engaged” OR “When is it going to be your wedding” or just simply the statement “It’ll be you two next” and I’m like WILL IT? Like how do YOU know?!
Society pressures you into marrying your partner after you’ve been together for a certain length of time. If you’re not married within that timeframe, people assume there’s something wrong with your relationship when there isn’t!
I can quite honestly say that I have never asked anyone those types of questions because it’s none of my business! And when I get asked those questions it takes all my willpower not to say “Luke and I don’t believe in marriage” just to see the look on their faces!
It’s almost like other people add pressure to mine and Luke’s none pressured relationship, and I always feel sorry for Luke because the question’s are usually aimed at him! And it makes him really uncomfortable! Imagine every wedding you go to or every holiday you go on people EXPECT you to get engaged!!
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been planning my wedding to Mr Luke Kendal since the day we met (because secretly I have) and of course I hope one day he does eventually ask the all important question. But the longer we are together the less important marriage seems to become to me. I know we are committed and are very much in love so why can other people just not leave us alone? If and when it happens it happens!!
Does anyone else get this at all? It can’t just be me surely? And does anyone else find it equally annoying?!
There are some questions that I never ask a person and they are
A persons age
When are they getting married
Now that they are married, when are they having children
These questions I honestly find extremely intrusive on my personal life and really hate being asked. These are the types of questions I don’t ask others, yet others have the right to ask me. I wonder if maybe my personal life is just so interesting that everyone wants to know every little detail?
I do struggle with this, and WISH the awkward questions were not asked as frequently as they are.
If I’m honest I believe that my relationship is healthier and happier than a lot of people I know including married people. So if and when it happens it happens and if it doesn’t it doesn’t.
I think society should be a little more respectful of people and feelings, and keep intrusive questions to themselves. Imagine asking a person who couldn’t have kids when they are thinking of starting a family! You have to be so careful what you ask!!
And just like that my rant is over, but please do give me a shout at [email protected] if you like me have to deal with this too
Thanks for reading today
So annoying. You’re right it’s not their business. And once you get married, have one child, they just ask when the next is coming. My husband and I dated for 6.5 years before we were married and waited more than almost 2 more years to have our first child.
Sorry you’re feeling frustrated with these inconsiderate questions! (And that I’ve left a lot of comments today…. just getting caught up on your blog! :))
Thanks Nikki, it’s so annoying, all the questions, constantly!! ? other people it seems are in more of a rush for Luke and I then we are!!! Xxx