It’s now time to get personal and talk about weight! My weight, my struggles and my journey.

I’ve decided to write this post now as I am now at my goal weight (happy face)

First off the stats – I’m a small 5ft girl (short) if I gain a pound it looks more like 2 pounds, and is really quite noticeable. So to say I’ve always struggled with my weight is a fair point to make.

Since I can remember I’ve been a standard size 12, at my biggest I was a size 14, which was back in 2009/10 I then dropped back to a size 12 and finally a size 10 which I have maintained since 2014 (ish).

I have tried dieting so many times before and always end up falling off the wagon! I even did Slim Fast back in the summer of 2017 and lost something ridiculous like a pound in 2 months!!

So here’s the thing whilst on holiday in Florida last year (2017) I had weight issues, I looked pretty big in my pictures and I didn’t feel confident in myself.

My mum who I had been messaging whilst in Florida suggested maybe trying slimming world. I immediately dismissed that idea, I just couldn’t see myself sitting there in a circle sharing weight loss tips with complete strangers (no offence).

Getting more and more stressed about how big I was looking was starting to cast a dark cloud over my amazing holiday, so I decided enough was enough, there was nothing I could do it about whilst in Florida (except enjoy myself) but when I was back in the UK I was going to (reluctantly) sign myself up for Slimming World.

I decided to sign myself up to a Wednesday night group, at 7.30pm. First of all slimming world really isn’t as bad as I had pictured it, and everyone in my group was very friendly and chatty, and I felt completely relaxed there.

I had a little chat with the group leader and was surprised to know that you can loose up to four-six lb’s on your first weigh in! Well that would suit me just fine!! I hadn’t weighed myself prior to going to SW but thought I must weigh about 9 something….. The group leader also goes through good and bad foods and syns.

So I’m not here to tell you the in’s and outs of SW but in a nutshell you get an allowance of 15 syns per day, and they can be used on anything naughty that you like! You just can’t go over your allowance.

So I’m standing in the queue waiting for the all important weigh in feeling quite smug really, it’s not like I have loads to loose, it’ll probably only take me a few weeks to hit my 9 stone goal. Stepping on the scales I was naturally pretty surprised when I was told I weigh 10st 05lbs, okay that was definitely more than I thought I weighed, but with a possible 4-6 lb weight loss in my first week it wouldn’t take me long…. Or so I thought.

My first week I was completely on plan, I weighed and I measured and had a few cheeky syns here and there but never went over my 15 per day allowance. I ate salads, and free foods, prepared over night oats every morning. I felt pretty good about myself to be honest, confident that I had shifted at least 4lbs I was quite excited to jump on the scales at SW on my 2nd week. So IMAGINE my face when I’m told I’ve lost 1lb, I mean are you kidding me? 1lb in a week? I consoled myself with the fact that a loss is still a loss, hopefully the week after I’ll loose big.

Sticking to plan another week, I was SURE I was in for bigger weight loss, but NOPE, I stepped on those scales, and I had lost…. 1lb.

I’m annoyed at this point, religiously measuring and weighing, being careful with what I eat, sticking to plan, and all this for a 1lb loss?! It actually got worse from there because sticking to the same plan the week after I GAINED a pound, then lost it the week after and gained the week after that!!

I seriously contemplated going to the doctors to see if I had a medical condition that was maybe preventing me from loosing weight, it was all becoming very disheartening for me and my 9st goal was getting further and further away!

I plodded along weeks after week in the hope that I might have a bigger weight loss at some point but it never happened. My last weigh in before Christmas was on 29/11/2017 where I weighed in at 9st 12lb just 2.5lb’s lighter when I started! I then decided to give up over the Christmas period, I was busy and trying to make Wednesday class in December was going to prove difficult. Instead I did what most people do during the festive period and INDULGED! I ate what I wanted when I wanted and didn’t count a single syn! It was bliss!!

Reluctantly in the new year I decided to return to SW against my better judgment I decided to try it one last time.

Before stepping on the scales I fully expected a BIG gain, especially with the amount of food consumed.

You can imagine my surprise when I stepped on those scales and and LOST 2.5lb’s! That quite literally made no sense at all.

I went home that evening and decided I would do a mini experiment, I would weigh in each week but do my own diet! No syns, no measuring, no free foods, just a normal healthy calorie controlled diet. The proof I believe is in the results

I had a consistent loss every week from doing it my way.

I believe that my diet always has been pretty healthy, I am a pescatarian, I don’t take sugar in hot drinks, I drink a lot of water and never have soft drink that isn’t diet, I don’t eat bags and crisps and bars of chocolate preferring to healthier options instead. By joining slimming world I think I was eating far more than I had ever done before and Luke actually made me aware of this.

For example I may have overnight oats and yogurt and fruit for breakfast, a yogurt mid morning, pasta salad for lunch, a SW bar mid afternoon, a jacket potato with cheese and beans and salad for dinner and possibly a meringue with a muller light yogurt and fruit for dessert. The pasta, potato, beans, muller light yogurts are all FREE, the oats are a healthy extra B (so I don’t syn it) my only syns are the SW bar and meringue. On the SW diet that is all fine, however the calorie intake is probably higher than I had ever been used too before, which is why I wasn’t loosing the weight!

I have no doubt that Slimming world does work, I just don’t think it is designed for everyone (I am proof of that) and it is so disheartening when week after week you are stepping on those scales and seeing no significant change.

I am now weighing it at 8st 12lbs, for my height I would like to go a few pounds lighter, which would put me in better proportion. I no longer go to my weekly Wednesday group, instead every week I weigh myself at home, and I can definitely notice the weight drop in my clothes. I continue to stick to my calorie controlled diet, and have the occasional blow out at the weekend.

I want to maintain a healthy balance between food and weight loss, I don’t want it to be such a big obsession, and I want to enjoy life instead of worrying about every little thing I put past my lips. Since Christmas I feel that the balance has been right for me, I am finally starting to feel more confident in myself than I have done it a long time. I feel more in touch with my body (which Oh my god even as I write it sounds laugh out loud stupid) but I now feel that I understand that my height does mean that I am not as fortunate as someone who is a few inches taller than me, who will carry the weigh better than I do. I still snack and and eat bread, but I don’t load on empty calories and would rather eat a punnet of raspberries than a cereal bar, where as before I had a never ending supply of low fat Alpen and SW bars.

with dieting it’s trial and error and working out what works best for you as an individual, I am by no means an expert, all I can say it I’ve seen the weight fall off people who go to slimming world. Unfortunately that just wasn’t the case for me.